When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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