That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize