Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
