i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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