I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize