Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
