We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
