i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
worst night to have a conscience
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
