no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
