I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
