Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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