you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
