I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
