I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
