Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
