it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
