my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
