My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
