what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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