And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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