YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
