Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
