My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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