He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I have post one night stand depression
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