i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
