Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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