the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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