Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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