at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
