it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
