STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize