I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
