Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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