Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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