If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize