whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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