There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
