Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
