haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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