It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
