Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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