And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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