I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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