Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
