Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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