You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
