that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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