Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
