Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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