Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
