At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
