David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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