A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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