She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
