Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
