I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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