he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
