just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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