She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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