Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Your penis caused this!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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