these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
