I hate all girls vehemently.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
