maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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