things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
