the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
